Let me start this by saying that my house is clean! ALWAYS. But every fucking morning, there’s a cockroach in the bathroom sink and every fucking morning, I have a fit and I wash that cockroach down the drain. Just when I think I’m safe, I swear the thing crawls back up the drain just to look me square in the face every god damn morning.

So I wake up this morning, wash the damned cockroach down the drain for the third time, go to move my laundry from the washer to the dryer, and guess what comes tumbling out of my wet pants. Dustin’s iPod. I’m seriously the best girlfriend ever. In case you were wondering, it’s broken. Gone. Dead forever. Aaaaand now I’m fucked.

I feel awful.